Thursday, November 6, 2014

Food Memoir: "Let Them Eat Cake"



            I really don’t know why the lower class of Paris got so upset at Marie Antoinette’s remark of “Let them eat cake”. Firstly, she never said this; it was just a vicious rumor, but come on! Cake! Who doesn’t love cake? Cake to me is the epitome of bliss. And there’s cake for every personality: cream-filled cake, gluten-free cake, ice cream cake, wedding cake, plain ol’ vanilla cake. I covet every kind of cake (besides the ones with fruit in the frosting. Really? Fruit? That’s not a dessert – that’s healthy). I adore yellow cake with dark chocolate frosting, Dairy Queen’s s’mores cake, but above all, above everything else, my all-time favorite type of cake is red velvet. Most people enjoy cake, that’s true, but my favorite cakes are my favorite because they are linked to my fondest memories.
            My dad and I don’t really get along. That is, we don’t talk much and when we do, it is usually a big mess. My dad started his own contracting business from absolutely nothing. After years of stress and hard work, he has succeeded in making KaufmanLynn Construction the second biggest construction business in South Florida. While I am very proud of how much my dad has accomplished, I am also disappointed because when I was growing up, my dad would take his stress home with him. He couldn’t seem to turn off “boss mode”, so scolding and pedantic reprimands were often a theme in our house. Happy memories of my dad are scarce, but I do remember one very special time. I was 12 and it was his 44th birthday. My sister, Hillary, and I baked him this positively scrumptious yellow cake with dark chocolate frosting. It filled the house with the sweet aroma of vanilla. We wiped the lingering batter from the bowl and licked the gooey goodness from our fingertips. We decorated the outside of the cake with rainbow sprinkles and green icing in poor cursive that said “Happy Birthday!” He came downstairs and was completely surprised. We sang him the birthday song and took huge helpings of that yellow cake with dark chocolate frosting. He was happy that day and so were we. That cake will always remind me of my dad.
            As for the Dairy Queen s’mores cake? Well, that reminds me of my mom. You see, Dairy Queen doesn’t make a s’mores cake (at least, not on their own). My older brother Harris was leaving for The Citadel, a prestigious military college in South Carolina, and my mom wanted to send him off right. She planned to have the whole family come over for a send-off-dinner and wanted a special cake for dessert. Brilliance struck! Dairy Queen makes the most luscious ice cream cakes. My mom ordered a chocolate ice cream cake and brought in her own crushed graham crackers to be mixed in with the marshmallow filling. The staff was a little hesitant at first, but after completion, they all agreed she was a genius. She had created the Dairy Queen s’mores cake. After dinner had finished, out came my mom with the most glorious ice cream cake anyone had ever seen. Just one bite and everyone immediately fell in love. Second helpings were had by all. Now, for a special event in the Kaufman household, it’s a tradition that a s’mores cake will be served.
            Well, every special event but my birthday, that is. Every year for my birthday, my candles are always staked on one dessert– a red velvet cake. Besides red being my signature color and the name sounding so smooth, red velvet is the most delectable cake to ever exist. The cake is just chocolate with red food dye, but don’t think for one second that it isn’t positively delicious. Who doesn’t love chocolate cake, especially when it’s perfectly moist? I have to say, the cream cheese frosting is the best part, though. If you find a red velvet cake recipe that calls for a regular vanilla frosting rather than a cream cheese frosting, throw it away; it is wrong. Cream cheese frosting is the only way to go when baking a red velvet cake. The cream cheese frosting is what makes red velvet cake so special. I’m so excited for my birthday to come each year so I can glob on that extra frosting to my little slice of red velvety heaven. Red velvet cake always reminds me of October 25th, where everyone thinks of me, sings me the birthday song, gives heartfelt gifts, and sends good wishes. But everything wonderful about my birthday before dessert time pales in comparison to when I slide that first forkful of cake into my mouth. Red velvet cake is the sweetest, most mouth-watering delight.
            If the starving people of France had only known about yellow cake with dark chocolate frosting, Dairy Queen’s s’mores cake, or red velvet cake, there wouldn’t have been any riots. Marie Antoinette would have been praised for her good taste. She would have gone down in history as the sweetest queen France has ever known. The deliciousness of cake can only do good. So I say: Prevent such atrocities from reoccurring! Don’t be afraid to try a tasty tiramisu! Bite into that beautiful Bundt! Sample that scrumptious Swiss roll! Let them eat cake!

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